I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
