I'm going to jail i love you
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
