nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
