I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize