In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
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He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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