2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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