I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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