I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
