i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
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