pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize