Don't you send me to vm
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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