i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
