I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
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It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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