Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
