How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
It's official drugs can't kill me
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
i out mim tonsoeep
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