New low: just hacked my moms facebook
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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