I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
