Only a mothe r could love this liver
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
