lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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