'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize