I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
jump out the window naked night went bad
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
