Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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