i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
