That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
