Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
