he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
