she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
