i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize