oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
my shit smells like andre
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
