He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize