we have officially lost it.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
