just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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