I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
