Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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