But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Come on in and take your pants off
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