worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
