I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
