thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.