I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.