It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.