Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.