if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
A bitchslap is in order.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
