i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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