Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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