Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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