And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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