ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
