I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I need a beard to bite.
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