you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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