She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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