So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
