I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
