He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
