he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Pants are for mortals
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