I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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