In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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