He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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