So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
