She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
