Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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