she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
